2024 | United States | Documentary,Experimental,Medium-length

I cannot see what I believe, I cannot believe what I see

  • 45 mins
  • Director | Maria Fernandez Pello
  • Writer | Maria Fernandez Pello
  • Producer | Maria Fernandez Pello

STATUS: Post-Production

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By forcing patients to live with a body that attacks itself, autoimmune conditions pose a vital paradox to those who suffer or treat them, turning bodies into a threat to their own survival. Even though the mechanisms of autoimmunity are much better understood today, their causes remain fairly unknown, with most research pointing at a combination of environmental and genetic factors. This missing window into the origin of autoimmunity has led to the development of novel scientific approaches that blur the difference between biomedicine and ecology and that force patients and scientists to invite a certain level of mystery back into their understanding and treatment of disease. 

The film follows a group of North American scientists and patients as they navigate the uncertainties of autoimmune conditions and grapple with their fuzzy etiology. We see them conduct all sorts of experiments – in the laboratory and inside their own bodies. Each scene tells us about a different approach, from experimental therapies that use live parasitic worms to retrain the immune system, to procedures that generate new types of organs such as J-pouch surgery, including experiments to rewild laboratory mice or to grow “mini guts'' in a petri dish. 

Inspired by the "wunderkammer" or cabinet of curiosities, the film guides us through a survey of experiments while it reflects on the uncertainty of conditions that originate from invisible, unknowable threats yet manifest in chronic self-attacks that cannot be prevented nor cured. Ultimately, as these experiments unfold, unexpected connections emerge between immune systems and their environments, inviting the audience to rethink what bodies are and what types of engagements are possible with diseases that remind us that we are more than we know.

Autoimmunity Disease Ecology Immunology Uncertainty Wunderkammer documentary experimental paradox scientific laboratory